Convalescence

"these wounds will heal and nothing can stop me now"

Listening to "Convalescence" by Darkest Hour from their mighty Undoing Ruin record and it's the last day of Bush 2nd term. 10:10 EST MLK Day. How fitting a date to see him out the door. The truly darkened skeptic in me wonders if it was all arranged but I can't let myself be that cynical.

Really tired today. Can't seem to get it going.

Man, the percussion and guitars in this song right before the solo pack such a wallop.

But yeah, last night my job was a clusterfuck. Owner inexplicably sent the busser home early and then we got mobbed and were stretched too thin. Had a crazy Italian family with 5 noisy (and I mean NOISY, as in, noisier than Darkest Hour,lol) come in without a reservation. They drove away tables and were super needy and left a big mess and whined a lot. How can you be such a gross/unaware person?

I can't imagine in a million years acting like that in a restaraunt, except for like, being wasted in shitty diners which doesn't count.

Anyway, gotta take the dog out. Trying to motivate and move my bones. Eating plain oatmeal with nothing.

Thinking of starting yet another project, was talking w Joe Maggio (ex Watch You Burn,ex-DIVEST, current Acid Arrow guitarist) about it. I want to do just a serious, straight forward hard-core band called The Walking Bombs.
I like how the name could be totally positive or negative, like a suicide bomber or someone going postal but I mean it in the positive sense of being a weapon of your ideals and intellect, not a cowardly way to not communicate and be a fanatic while hoping you'll be rewarded with virgins or getting to shake hands with Mitt Romney or something.

I want to do something really basic but awesome, just straight up hard core. Haven't done much in my "career" and have always been a fan. DIVEST did a tune "me casa su casa" about bad communication ruining friendships "tongue tied = true crime" (a lyric I revisited in a song "Moving Days" by Pontius Pilate Sales Pitch which needs to be released really bad!). Anyway///

Just another attempt to tackle every style I love and to create some, if possible.

Embracing today as a moment of change and hoping for the best.
Going to walk out into the cold, let the puppy relieve her little bladder and get on with my day.

Only have one or two days off from a week spent scrambling for money. Not scrambling for recognition anymore, just working hard and hoping for the best and keeping on doing what I do. People can sift my intentions and character from that and take it or leave it. I've done a lot for everybody.

Been watching Buddhist lectures about karma operating not as we mispercive it in the west like "destiny" but rather as the accumulated energy of our thoughts and deeds. If tragedy strikes, you have to try and not feel crushed, but learn how to survive it in yourself. Fair or not, whatever...it simply is and you shouldn't be happy about it or neutral to the point of not caring about yourself, i believe, but you do have to be able to adjust and accept life as full of different modalities and comings and goings to ever be released from Samsara even a tiny bit.

so don't blow yourself up to get pussy, kids, lol..."God' knows your real motivations, lol...Oh,man.

"Low" by DH is on the music player now and ripping through the room. Never listened to much Darkest Hour, one of those bands who've been around years but you can't follow everyone. Saw them at Warped once and thought they were great, playing a little tent and ripping it in half anyway to a small crowd while everyone else nearby was waiting for The Transplants. People could've watched these dudes while they waited.

Anyway, my Sepultura and Wino interviews both got delayed this week. Literally ten minutes before Sep interview my phone died inexplicably. Have internet obviously but need to get maintenance person over here to check wiring. I know Delish upstairs don't have a landline so can't ask him.

Andreas cancelled all interviews that day anyway, I found out a little later, lol...so I was relieved. I've never missed an interview.

Got Cattle Decapitation with Travis Ryan turned in though last night so am stoked for that.
Onward and upward.